Sunday, October 22, 2006

So, What's a Priest? (from the Adventures of Moe and Joe)

[I wrote this cornball skit. It was performed during Sunday morning worship at the congregation I serve as pastor, Friendship Lutheran Church, Amelia, Ohio, on October 22, 2006. The thespians were Garrett Hart and Phil Daniels. The Bible passages around which it's built are First Peter 2:9-10 and Hebrews 5:1-10.]

Moe: Hey, Joe.

Joe: Hey, Moe.

Moe: What’s up?

Joe: Well, I’m pretty stoked.

Moe: Why’s that?

Joe: [proudly] I just found out that I’m a priest.

Moe: What do you mean?

Joe: I just learned in Catechism class that I’m a priest. I guess I’ll have to go out and buy one of those black shirts with tabs in the collar now. I wonder if Hollister makes them?

Moe: Earth to Joe. I’m losing you here. You’d better explain yourself.

Joe: We just found out that we’re all priests in the hood.

Moe: Do you mean that we’re all part of the priesthood?

Joe: Oh, yeah. That’s right, it’s called the priesthood of all believers.

Moe: So, what exactly does that mean?

Joe: I don’t know. Black shirts. Black pants.

Moe: So far, being a priest sounds like being a Goth. Do you think that’s what your Catechism teacher meant?

Joe: Probably not. Besides I’m not Catholic...or an Ozzy Osbourne fan.

Moe: So, what does being part of the priesthood of all believers mean?

Joe: [pauses to think, straining] You’re gonna have to take this part, Moe.

Moe: Well, what makes a priest a priest?

Joe: [pauses again] Um, back to you.

Moe: [sighs] Three things make a priest. First, they have a purpose.

Joe: What’s their purpose?

Moe: They stand up for people with God and they stand up for God with people.

Joe: Sounds like that puts them right in the middle.

Moe: It’s true and it isn’t always comfortable for them.

Joe: Okay, purpose. What’s the second thing that makes a priest a priest?

Moe: They have sympathy for others. Sometimes, they’re even willing to die for the eternal well-being of other people.

Joe: Sheesh. That sounds hard too.

Moe: It is. But God gives priests the strength to do what He asks them to do.

Joe: Okay, purpose and sympathy. What’s the third thing?

Moe: They’ve been called by God. They have a call.

Joe: You mean, God gets in touch with them on their cells?

Moe: No, Joe. It means that God has called them through His Word, Holy Baptism, Holy Communion, the fellowship of the Church.

Joe: But wait a minute. You forgot to mention the most important thing that makes a priest a priest.

Moe: What’s that?

Joe: [smiles knowingly] They have to be Catholic.

Moe: No, Joe. It’s the priesthood of all believers, remember? That includes all Christians. Everybody who’s baptized and believes in Jesus is called to be a priest.

Joe: Sheesh. That’s a big job. How can anybody remember how to do it?

Moe: It is a big job and the only way I know to remember how to do it is to look to Jesus on the cross. That’s where He showed us that He’s the great high priest for all who follow Him.

Joe: That’s good. But I know another way to remember what it means.

Moe: How’s that?

Joe: We can repeat those three things that every priest has. [Turns to the congregation.] We all can say them together: Purpose. Sympathy. Call.

Moe: One more time: Purpose. Sympathy. Call.

Joe: See ya, Moe.

Moe: See ya, Joe.

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