Living like I mean it?

Yesterday, during my quiet time, God gently confronted me on one of my foremost character flaws. I say that He did so "gently," because the admonition was predicated by the fact I am by His child through faith in Jesus Christ. As a baptized believer in Christ, my old self has been drowned and my new self brought into being to live with Christ eternally. But God pointed out to me that I don't always live the faith I confess.

From Colossians 3:1-2, 5;

"You have been raised to life with Christ, so set your hearts on the things that are in heaven, where Christ sits on his throne at the right side of God. ² Keep your minds fixed on things there, not on things here on earth...You must put to death, then, the earthly desires at work in you..." (Good News Translation)

I journaled my response to God's Word:

I spend the greater part of each day heeding my desires, my wants, desires that are earthly: for my pleasure, my comfort, my preferences, my ambitions, etc. [Not many of them are intrinsically sinful, maybe, but are sinful in the ways I pursue them nonetheless, because they're about my will, rather than Your will.] You know this about me, Lord. But I need to acknowledge it to You.

I don't spend nearly the time needed on Your will, Your Word, or You.

My heart gets set on the things I want. I grow resentful when, after relentless praying, you don't give me the things I want, which You know I don't need.

I do this, as You know, after You've made Your will and Your answer of "no" to my prayers clear.

My heart is too divided. God, I need to be Yours completely. Remove my hypocrisy. Help me to be wholly and joyfully turned to You. Help me to focus on Your will and not my own; on Christ's call and not my pleasure. Amen