The Mall Spitting Contest

Today was one of those crisp, sunny days that give Autumn such a good reputation. So, my wife and I decided to go for a walk on a hiking trail at a park not far from us.

It was great! We got the chance to talk about the important things in life, to hold hands, and to just be together.

After our walk, as we got into our car, she asked me if I'd like to go to our favorite shopping mall, Kenwood Towne Centre. I said that sounded like fun.

We entered the mall by way of Macy's. What I saw there surprised me. The Macy's cosmetics department seems to have grown to something like three times its previous size. And everywhere I looked, the place was crawling with women of all ages looking at make-up or being attended to by strangely painted cosmetic technicians.

Once outside of Macy's and into the mall itself, we encountered a place filled with Saturday afternoon shoppers. But time and again, I noticed that the cosmetics stores--and there were several such places newly installed--were especially jammed, full of women shopping for...whatever it is that women buy in places like that.

It seemed too, that as we went from one place to the next--we didn't buy anything except our dinner at Panera Bread, by the way--I kept seeing these women young and old, in expensive clothing, and obviously painted from head to toe in various hair dyes, creams, and foundations. While someone somewhere may have deemed them attractive, to me, observing them was a bit like watching a profusion of circus clowns scurrying from an Izetta.

Finally, sitting at a table situated outside the Panera, close to the entrance to The Parisian, with our French Onion Soup and Caesar Salads in front of us, I shared my mystification with my wife. "Why on earth do these women do this?" I asked her. "Do they think that all this make-up and other fakery make them look attractive?"

My wife spoke with disarming insight. "They don't do it for the men. They do it because of each other."

Competition?

Women distort the way they look in these often bizarre ways because they're in some competition with other women?

And the competition isn't over how attractive they might be to the other sex, but how much they can intimidate other females with the idea that they're more attractive to the opposite sex?

As a guy, I guess I can understand that. Young boys have contests to see who can spit the farthest. My gender often continues such pointless competitions, in varying forms, our whole lives.

So, the Saturday rush for cosmetics is the female equivalent of a spitting contest. Who knew?

Frankly, I'm glad that my wife and daughter are countercultural enough--and secure enough in God's love for them--that they've never bought into such foolish (and expensive) competitions. Their focus has always been on striving to be good people. I think that other members of their gender would be happier if they learned from their examples.