Looking Virtuous or Being Virtuous?

“While virtuous prudence is characterized by ‘purity, straightforwardness, candor, and simplicity of character,’ false prudence relies on the appearance of these as a tactic toward some other end.” (Karen Swallow Prior, On Reading Well) These are wise words from a wise author. And what Prior says applies to all virtues, whether real or only apparent. Jesus tells us to let our answers be yes or no, that any other answer is from the evil one (Matthew 5:37).

My personal experience is that people who spend a lot of time trying to convince you that they’re honest rather than being honest are probably more concerned with appearances, particularly with how they appear to other people, than they are with authenticity, relationships, or truth. (And nobody is immune from such hypocrisy, it should be said.)

It’s a subtle temptation to think that if we just look like good people, we’ll be good people. We can even fool ourselves into believing it.

But goodness isn’t about how we look and we can’t manufacture it. It must be daily imported, downloaded from God.

Jesus, God in human flesh, reminds us that God alone is good (Luke 18:19). And His goodness is most seen in those who aren’t thinking about being good or trying to appear good (or holy, or moral, or upright, or righteous, or “together"), but in those who think about, confess to, and daily receive life and forgiveness from the God revealed in Jesus.

Moral showiness impresses few and impresses God never. And it never makes us good, however we may appear to others. Only those who allow God to break them open to admit their imperfection are ready to be filled with the love, truth, AND goodness that God gives through Jesus.

[I'm the pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio.]

When you break a promise

"Due to circumstances beyond our control." That's the phrase that popped into my mind this morning during my quiet time when I read words of the apostle Paul addressed to the first-century Christian churches in Corinth and Achaia.

There, Paul is explaining why he'd been forced to break his promise to come visit them, not because he wasn't good for his word but because circumstances had changed. But, ever the preacher of Christ, even in the midst of this explanation, Paul couldn't keep from pointing out how reliable the God we know through Christ always is:

Confident of your welcome, I had originally planned two great visits with you—coming by on my way to Macedonia province, and then again on my return trip. Then we could have had a bon-voyage party as you sent me off to Judea. That was the plan.

Are you now going to accuse me of being flip with my promises because it didn’t work out? Do you think I talk out of both sides of my mouth—a glib yes one moment, a glib no the next? Well, you’re wrong. I try to be as true to my word as God is to his. Our word to you wasn’t a careless yes canceled by an indifferent no. How could it be? When Silas and Timothy and I proclaimed the Son of God among you, did you pick up on any yes-and-no, on-again, off-again waffling? Wasn’t it a clean, strong Yes? 

Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete. (2 Corinthians 1:15-22, The Message)

Though my team and I were incapable of making good on our yes, Paul seems to say, remember two things:

(1)We always proclaimed God's "yes" to repentant believers in Christ;
(2) Even when humans fail to keep their promises, when God says "yes" to a promise, you can bank your life on it.

God calls imperfect human beings--which includes every believer in Christ--to share the message of new and everlasting life for all who turn from sin and trustingly follow Jesus. But our faith is not in the imperfect disciples who strive and sometimes fail in their promise-keeping. Our faith is in the God Who, as seen in Christ, always keeps His promises.

I think that this has several implications for the way we live our lives if we confess Christ to be our God and Savior.

First, it means that we need to be judicious in our promise-making. We should only make those promises that we think we are going to be able to keep. When we're associated with Christ, identified by others as Christians, we must remember that we are "ambassadors for Christ" (2 Corinthians 5:20) and strive, as Jesus tells us to "Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil" (Matthew 5:37).

Second, we need to be charitable and understanding when circumstances beyond the control of those from whom we feel we have promises are unable to keep them. This is especially the case when they may be unable to keep their promise to us because of another promise they have made to God. This appears to be the explanation that Paul offers in these verses from 2 Corinthians 1. His extenuating circumstances aren't things like, "Oops! We overslept." Or, "We were having such a great time here, it seemed such a shame to go tearing off to Corinth."

No, Paul says, "I try to be as true to my word as God is to his." Especially when a person has a good track record for keeping promises, we should be understanding when they don't fulfill a promise. Especially when a promise to God may supersede their promise to us. As with Paul and his crew who faced persecution and the call of God to remain where they were rather than heading to see the Corinthians, we should be understanding of those who try to be as true to their word as God is to His Word.

That leads to a third implication in Paul's word to the Corinthians: God is the only One Who ever has kept or ever will keep all His promises. God's Word alone is completely reliable. Even the most well-meaning people flub up. God never flubs up! Isaiah 40:8, says: "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever." One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Psalm 118:8, which says: "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans."

And here's a fourth implication: Not only should we be judicious, careful, about making promises, we should repent both for careless promise-making and for godly promises broken. We should apologize both to God--because, as C.S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, whenever we sin (and carelessly breaking a promise is a sin, a violation of the Eighth Commandment, "You shall not bear false witness"), we sin chiefly against God--and to the person to whom we've made our unfulfilled promise.

Of course, repentance means more than saying we're sorry for committing sin; it also means turning to God in the name of Jesus, receiving God's forgiveness, and allowing the Holy Spirit to this aspect of our lives to help us live more faithfully. In our Lutheran tradition, when we install people into positions of responsibility in our congregations, these people are asked to make a series of promises to God and the congregation. And with each promise, they pledge to seek to fulfill those promises by saying, "Yes, with the help of God."

And what do we do if we truly repent before God and truly apologize to people for our broken promises and people refuse to forgive us?

• For one thing, don't allow yourself to remain angry about it. Understand that your broken promise may have caused real hurt to the other person. This is especially so when you've had a track record of promise-keeping with them. When a person routinely breaks promises to us, we think, "That's them." But when someone has usually been reliable breaks a promise, the disappointment is great. Be understanding of how the person to whom we've made a broken promise feels. 
• Also, pray for reconciliation. Ask God to work in both of your lives to make it possible for your relationship to be restored. Ask also that God will banish bitterness from your thinking. Ask God also if there are any further steps you should take. Usually, there are no further steps to be taken; you must simply pray and wait.
• Finally, ask God to help you to be a more reliable promise-maker in the future.

As someone who has been known to make promises that I've gone on to break and sometimes, unlike Paul in these verse from 2 Corinthians, out of carelessness, I'm glad that there is One Whose promises can always be counted on.

When Jesus came into this world to die and to rise for the benefit of sinful human beings, He fulfilled the promises of God. And His death and resurrection are the guarantors of all the other promises He makes, from the promise to always be with those who follow Him in this world to the promise to prepare a place for His disciples in eternity.

So, I will ask God's help in being judicious and faithful in my promise-making and promise-keeping.

I will seek, with the help of God, to forgive others as God forgives me, when they seem to fail in keeping the promises they have made to me.

But, I will trust the God revealed in Jesus and in the promises He makes in His Word, the Bible, above all else.

[Blogger Mark Daniels is pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio.]

"Let us not speak falsely now..." (Quiet Time Reflections)

The line above is from Bob Dylan's All Along the Watchtower, the fame of which was undoubtedly expanded by Jim Hendrix's driving cover of the tune.

"Let us not speak falsely now" crossed my mind after my quiet time with God this morning. In Quiet Time, I read a chapter from the Bible, asking God to show me the truth He wants to impress on me that morning. Today, I read Revelation 22 and was especially drawn to verses 14 and 15. (For more about Quiet Time and the "stop, look, listen, respond" format around which my daily encounters with God are built, see here.)

Here's an excerpt from my journal, some of what God told me today:

Look: “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” (Revelation 22:14-15)

These verses are so freighted with meaning for me, I could write forever, I think, Lord. You speak somewhat crushing volumes to me through them.

Verse 14 says that we are blessed and “inside” God’s kingdom when we come to the river of life, the pure waters flowing from the throne on which You, God, and the Lamb, Jesus, sit, and wash ourselves.

This, I see, is about repentance, about “coming clean” with You and being “made clean” by You. Trusting repentance--sorrow for sin and faith in Christ--are the only way we gain entrance into the eternal kingdom. (This all reminds me of Jesus’ parable in Matthew 22:1-14, where a king throws people out of the wedding banquet because they aren’t wearing the wedding clothes.)

It shows how important genuine repentance and true trust are.

Verse 15 names a lot of clearly dark practices associated with those who are “outside.” But then there’s one that slams me in the jaw: “everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

Listen: You know how I wrestle with this last one, Lord. I fall into falsehoods so easily, so thoughtlessly...

And, I think that, because I say so much, I sometimes lie to people without realizing it or intending it. This is especially seen in pledges I later think better of and walk back. Or ones I was unwise to make or incapable of making. [This has happened many times, as You know.]

Often, I think, I lie (I'm using that verb, lie, so as not to dodge responsibility, no matter how harmless the untruths I speak may be rationalized to be) to make unpleasant things palatable. I don’t want to be direct, so I take a passive-aggressive route or a route that makes me look like a victim of circumstance or seeks to obliterate the possibility of blame.

In Matthew, while telling disciples not to swear by anything to back up their statements, Jesus continues: “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37) Just yes or no...the simple truth.

And James 5:12 says: “Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ Otherwise you will be condemned.” Again, just yes or no...the simple truth.

More often than I like to me, especially for someone to whom words are so important, personally and vocationally, words are just words. But to You, Lord, words have power. Even my words. They aren't harmless. Neither is their misuse.

And when I use my mouth to speak falsely or to create false impressions or to artificially truncate unpleasant conversations that should happen, I create false worlds for my hearers, fantasy lands of expectations that I may or may not intend or, if I do intend, am unable to fulfill. I prove to be unreliable. I disappoint and hurt people who have trusted me. I tear down that trust. I harm relationships.

Respond: God, forgive me. Help me to speak the truth in love. Teach me to keep my mouth shut more often than not. Bathe me in the river of life and make me clean. Help me to be Your man, Lord. Help me to consistently speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). In Jesus’ name. "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." Amen 

See also: Wrestling with a Lie (My Own).

[Blogger Mark Daniels is pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio.]

"Being authentic [is] far more important than being perfect."

Leaders, we need to take off all our masks. (That includes spiritual leaders, pastors.) Check out the Harvard Business Review blog post in which the following informative video is embedded. I don't think that Peter Fuda, the author of the blog post and narrator of this video is necessarily encouraging disclosing things that only God and you need to know about. But I do think his commendation of being one's self as a leader is important. Great food for thought and prayer here.

What was that Jesus said about, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no"? Here.

UPDATE: Reading this book years ago was a help to me.