My Great Grandmother's Continuing Influence on My Life

Many have heard me speak of my great-grandmother. I adored her.

When I was a little guy, growing up in Columbus, she lived across the street from us. She always spoke to me as though I was a grown-up and helped to spark my interest in history and politics, among other things. 

She was a devoted follower of Jesus and often when I barged in on her unannounced, she would be reading the Bible, which she read through completely thirteen times in the course of her life. She often spoke with me about Christ and her faith. She spent hours and hours with me, which is fairly remarkable when you think about it, remarkable that she had such patience, remarkable that I so loved our time together.

When she was hospitalized after suffering several strokes, she asked if I could come to see her. That was when children under 15 weren’t allowed to visit the hospitalized. But the doctor gave the go-ahead and I was happy to see her.

She lived for only a short time after that. (My grandparents brought her to be with them before she passed and I got to see her the night before her death, though the strokes had robbed her of her memory of me.) I was comforted on the morning after her death when my mom told me that grandma was then walking the streets of gold in eternity. She died when I was eight and, without doubt, she remains one of the most influential people in my life.

Her influence goes beyond the interactions I had with her when I was a little boy, though. Unbeknownst to me, my great-grandmother called me her “little preacher.” She was a woman of prayer and I’m sure that she included me in her praying.

I became an atheist in my teen years and remained so into my early twenties. But then, through the witness of a church family and another elderly woman who took me under her wing and showed me what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, I came to faith. After that, I sensed God’s call to pastoral ministry.

I am certain that the prayers of my great-grandmother, long gone by the time I came to faith or became a pastor, remained lodged in the heart of God, Who is eternal. He heard her prayers and eventually, through my hearing of God’s Word which loved me to faith, they were answered. 

Never give up on prayer in Jesus’ name because He never gives up on us and He never forgets our prayers!

I’m thankful for the life, witness, and prayers of my great-grandmother. She wasn’t perfect, but she was faithful and she’s one of the people God used to bring me to life through Jesus Christ. 

This picture shows her just as I remember her, obviously taken shortly before her death at age 76 in 1962. My dad gave this picture of her to me yesterday.

[I'm the pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio.]

If I'm going to vex people, Lord, grant that I'll vex them for following You

My quiet time with God today revolved around Psalm 109. It’s an imprecatory psalm in which, among other things, the psalmist prays: “Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes.” (Psalm 109:6-10)

The language is jarring! It doesn’t seem consistent with biblical, Christian faith.

And, in truth, it’s not the kind of thing that a Christian should say or even think.

But, honesty compels us to admit that while we may not go as far as the psalmist does here, there are vexing people in our lives we don’t exactly wish well in our thoughts. And, if as believers, we want to lay our entire lives before God, we cannot conceal such sentiments from Him. It’s only when we acknowledge such thoughts to God (not to our neighbor), that we can be set free of the slavery that goes with grudge-holding and be set free to be the joyful people God desires for us to be.

A touchstone passage from the Psalms for me is this prayer: “Search me, God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

We “vent” to God, whether it’s in complaining, praising, confessing, or imploring so that the free, clean air of His grace can make us new, so that He can set us free to live in closer fellowship with Him and so that our lives can give Him glory for saving us from sin and death through Jesus. When we try to sweep our ill-feelings toward others under the carpet before God, we’re really concealing reality from ourselves. After all, God already sees everything.

Jesus tells us,  “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” (Matthew 5:43-44) Few of us today think of people as our enemies and, in America anyway, we don’t have anyone persecuting us. But there are people who vex us, speak ill of us, and give us a hard time. These are the people for whom Jesus says His disciples are to pray. 

I have found that the more I pray for people, the less I’m able to hold grudges, withhold forgiveness, or have ill feelings toward them. God also gives me a heart to be more understanding. But Psalm 109 and other imprecatory psalms tell me, anyway, that until I can own my ill feelings toward people, I can’t be free enough of myself to pray for their good.

Lord, today help me to be honest about all of my feelings with You. Help me to pray for others. And help me to so reflect Your love and grace that I don’t vex people for the wrong reasons. In other words, if I’m going to vex people today, grant that it will be because I’m following You and not because I’m following my own sinful impulses or feelings. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen

[I'm the pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio.]