How about Springer v. Springer?
Houston beanball pitcher Russ Springer can face off against TV talk show host (and one-time Cincinnati mayor) Jerry Springer.
A coin toss could decide who hurls first. Russ could throw fastballs. Jerry could fling chairs.
In the opening round, each player would face the other at a distance of ninety feet, wearing a helmet and pads. (Some accomodation might need to be made for Jerry since chairs are heavier than baseballs.) The player on offense could throw their own objects of choice, while the player on defense would simply dodge them. Points would be rewarded for square hits.
In the second round, the two Springers could use their weapons of choice to defend themselves.
Reality shows have been built on slighter premises than this.
If Jerry wins, Russ would be forced to listen to the talk show host's talk on the lessons learned that day, a dreadful fate. If Russ won, Jerry's would likely be pretty beaten up and that would be a roughly equivalent punishment to a Jerry commentary.
(If this idea goes into production, I demand royalties!)
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