Tough Questions: How Do I Help My Grieving Friend?

Proverbs 17:17
Galatians 6:2
During this year’s midweek Lenten services, we’re going to tackle some tough questions. They’ll include:

• How can we know that the Bible is God’s Word? 
• How can a loving God let people go to hell? 
• Do Christians and Muslims worship the same God?  
• Is the Biblical view of homosexuality unloving? 

These are all questions that Christians wrestle with, questions that Christians have commonly posed to me through the years.

But without doubt, the question which, in one form or another, Christians ask more than any other is the one we’re addressing tonight: How do I help a grieving friend? Sometimes, the question is posed in this way: What do I say to a friend who has just experienced loss?

As Christians, we know that God commands all people to love God totally and love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

We also know that Jesus gives His followers a new commandment: To love fellow believers with the same life-giving love He gives to us.

And we’re familiar with Biblical injunctions like those of Paul in Galatians 6:2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

But how do we show or give expression to the love Christ has given to you and me when dealing with our grieving friends?

Many of you could be standing here and offering the wisdom you’ve gained on this subject both through God’s Word and through living out your Christian discipleship. But tonight, I’d like to share what God has taught me about helping our grieving friends.

First, and most importantly, listen to your friend. Frequently, whether it's because of our own discomfort or a penchant for wanting to "fix things," we can go to our grieving friends and shower them with torrents of consoling words. But what grieving people most need is to be listened to. Their unique pain and grief need to be acknowledged.

In the Old Testament book of Job, a man is aggrieved when he loses first, all his sources of wealth and then, all of his children in a natural disaster. Three friends come to visit Job. As we’ve pointed out before, the friends do something very wise at first. They let Job "vent," allowing him to give full expression to his agony, his questions, his anger, even his anger with God. They listen to Job. For seven days.

But then, the friends make a mistake: They open their mouths. My biggest mistakes in life and in trying to help hurting people, have never come from listening. They've always come from talking.

Second, don't try to talk people out of their grief. Grief is something which, over time, follows a more or less natural course. While nobody ever “gets over” their loss, they can reach a point of acceptance. Getting there, sometimes take more time for some people and sometimes less time is required for other people. It depends on the person, their level of faith, and their particular grief. You can't truncate grief with words.

When my grandfather died, a pastor came to the visitation. My grandmother, who had gone into the hospital CCU at the same time as my grandfather was admitted to the ICU, had just been released from the hospital and was at the funeral home in a wheelchair. The pastor, who had never met my grandmother, put his hands on her shoulders and told her, "You're going to be all right. Go home and watch the Bengals game. I predict they're going to win."

Some people think that they need to give the aggrieved person a "pep talk." But such talks are really designed more to make the talker feel they've done a good turn than to do any real good for anyone else. Let your friend grieve no matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel.

Third, don't try to explain what you don't understand. When people grieve over their losses, they wonder, as all of us do, why their loss has happened. Anyone who wants to help the friend who is asking this question must resist the temptation to answer it. In all honesty, your friend doesn't want to have a rational explanation anyway. They simply want to be able to say, "This isn't fair!"

And it isn't fair. Life often isn't fair. At the end of Job's forty-two chapters, we're left with this answer to the question of why grief befalls us: We live in a world where bad things happen. In the New Testament, Jesus tells us that bad things rain on the good and the evil alike. Why that is so, no one living on this planet is wise enough to say. Only God knows the answer to the question of why and you and I don't need to play God by pretending to have that answer.

Fourth, let your friend be angry with God. A deeply faithful Christian man whose grandchild had recently died told me, "Sometimes I get angry with God. I know it's horrible; but it's true." I assured him that what he was feeling wasn't horrible. I reminded him of such people in the Bible as David and Job, who always believed in God, but also got angry with God when dealing with grief or the threat of death. And I told the grieving grandfather, "The fact that you're angry with God proves your faith in God. You would never be angry with someone you didn't think was there."

Maybe you’ve noticed this: Most of the time, when we respond to people's anger with condemnation, it only makes them dig in their heels. Trying to prove to an angry person that their anger is unwarranted is a fool's mission. God says in Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Letting your friend get angry with God will prevent their anger from becoming an ongoing feature in their life.

Fifth, don't avoid talking about your grieving friend's loss. Often, friends fear that if they speak of the loss or the one for whom their friends grieve, they'll make their friends feel sadder. But a grieving friend already is sad and if it seems natural to mention a friend's deceased loved one, for example, or if your friend mentions that person, you should be willing to talk about them as well.

A woman once told me, "My friends avoid speaking of my late husband like a plague. What they don't seem to understand is that when they do that, it makes me feel as though they think he was unimportant or that they want to pretend he was never there." Through the years, I have heard that grieving woman's words echoed by other grieving people. You honor your friend when you're willing to discuss with them the people or circumstances they grieve.

Sixth, pray for your friend. You should pray that God will bring them comfort, for sure. But you also should pray that God will use you as a conduit for the blessings you want your friend to receive. Whenever I visit people who are dealing with grief, I always ask God to fill me with His Holy Spirit, allowing God's love for my friend to flow through me. In John 15:5, Jesus says: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Jesus also says that the world will know Him when His love is visible in us. Pray that God will love your friend through you.

Seventh and finally, share your faith in Christ. If God has allowed you to be helpful to your friend in their grief, they may wonder, whether they’re non-Christians or Christians, what allows you to be that helpful friend. You can honestly say that it isn't you who have been helpful, that you have prayed over every step you took with them and that God has guided you. You can tell them that you belong to an eternal God Who has destroyed the power of death and that anyone who trustingly follows Jesus Christ has hope beyond the grave. At the right time, after you've lovingly taken the journey of grief with your friend, that will come as very good news.

I love what Proverbs 17:17 tells us: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Call upon God in Jesus’ name to help you be that friend who loves at all times and so be a sister or brother to those who go through adversity. In this way, we will love God and love our neighbor. Amen

[Blogger Mark Daniels is pastor of Living Water Lutheran Church in Centerville, Ohio. This is the first installment of the church's midweek Lenten series, Tough Questions.]

Living in An Unfair World

On Sunday, I presented a sermon on Matthew 20:1-16, in which I said that God isn't fair, but gracious. If God were fair, judging us according to what we deserve, none of us would merit His forgiveness.

Or the opportunity to know God's love given in Christ.

Or the chance to spend eternity with God.

We could never be part of God's kingdom.

That's why, Jesus shows in the parable contained in those verses, we should never begrudge the forgiveness and patience God gives to others. He grades the lives of repentant believers in Christ on the same grace curve He employs with all repentant believers in Christ. Only Jesus Christ makes it possible for the human race to experience the unfairness of God's grace and favor and eternity.

But there's another sense in which God may seem unfair and, to tell you the truth, after nearly thirty-five years as a Christian and almost thirty years as a pastor, I can't explain it away. Only try to deal with it.

I'm talking about the seeming unfairness God allows to be visited on those who experience horrible tragedy, despite their faithfulness to Him. Despite their prayers. Despite their desire to live for God and to put God first in their lives.

Their loved ones die too early. Or suffer over long years of pain.

Their grown children turn from parents, God, and the values they've been taught from birth, seeming to mock the words of Proverbs 22:6. ("Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.")


Their marriages become battle zones or somber theaters of quiet sadness and resignation and some Christians in these circumstances feel themselves "trapped" by promises made to God and their mates, although their mates have proven to be far from the loving, committed people they promised they would be.

Their friendships die under the weight of life's numerous obligations and accelerated mobility.

Their careers abruptly end as corporations downsize, relocate, or seek ways to cut their costs.

I don't know why God, Who I have seen intervene in many circumstances that were, from every rational, empirical perspective, completely hopeless, doesn't choose to intervene in more situations. It doesn't seem fair.

I don't have any answers. And it would be presumptuous for me to think that I do.

When Job, in the Old Testament, challenged God to tell him why he, a man whose faith and virtue God Himself had bragged about, had lost all his children, all his property, and all his livestock (and heard his wife advise him to throw in the towel: "Just curse God and die."), God ended up telling Him, in essence: "It is what it is. You wouldn't understand it if I explained it to you."

God didn't deny the unfairness to which Job was subjected. And the unfairness seems to continue. And it can't be explained.

But I am comforted (sometimes) by the following thoughts. Maybe they'll help you too.

First: When we trust in Jesus Christ, we never experience unfairness alone. (Though it can seem that way.)

No one has suffered greater unfairness than Jesus Christ. True God and true man, Jesus was sinless. Yet He suffered and endured a horrible death. He did it voluntarily so that a perfect human being could bear the guilt of us all, killing the power of death over all who turn from their own sins and believe in Him.

Through that act of love and empathy, we can be certain, God gets unfairness. He's been on the receiving end. And this is the God Who promises, "I will be with you always."

Second: It's OK to get mad at God for the unfairness of things. The supposedly patient Job was so angry at the unfairness to which he'd been subjected that he challenged God to a kind of trial in which both would present their cases. Though God ultimately put Job "in his place," He didn't withhold His love or grace from Job for being angry.

You never get mad at a God you don't believe is there. Anger at God is never displayed by an atheist (at least not consciously). Only people who believe in God get mad at God.

God is a good listener. And as long as you're talking to God, even if your words and sentiments are filled with anger at Him. you're giving Him access to your life, an invitation to bring you His peace in the midst of your storms. Romans 8:26-27 says: "...we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints [saints are what the Bible calls repentant believers in Christ] according to the will of God."

Third: When we suffer life's unfairness, we find ourselves equipped to listen to, pray for, and befriend other people, Christians and others, who have experienced that same unfairness. We can, if we allow God's Spirit to soften our hearts, become the empathetic hand and voice of Christ for those whose hurts we more clearly understand because we ourselves have "been there."

A friend of mine has suffered many losses, losses so unfair that I have complained to God about it more than once. She doesn't claim to have made sense of any of it or to not sometimes feeling God has been unfair. But she makes a point of reaching out to others suffering at the hands of life's unfairness. It's become a ministry from God for her and she doesn't really understand how powerful it is.

Fourth: This world is and will remain unfair to all people until the day Christ returns. It's part of the landscape of earthly experience. The universe groans under the weight of sin, death, and darkness. That's why good news of any kind--a kid volunteering at a homeless shelter, a billionaire spending millions to educate young people, a priest starting a community garden that feeds poor people and gives others a sense of purpose--comes as such a surprise to us. We live in a bad news world.

In our bones, we know that we can never count on this world to be fair or to make sense. Especially for those who know the gracious, loving God of the world Who has come to us in Christ. We know that all have been made for more and that only in eternity will we experience all for which we were made.

When our time on earth is done, we can count on God to treat all who have endured in following Christ to the ultimate unfairness: A life of perfect peace, joy, and purpose lived with God and all the saints for all eternity.

That truth, that secure promise, ultimately, is the only thing that enables me to plunge into each day with hope and purpose while living in this unfair world.

Why People Get Angry with God...and What We Should Do About It

People who believe in God sometimes get angry with God.

Exhibit A for this truth is a man whose story is told in the Old Testament portion of the Bible, Job. Job was a man whose faith even God bragged about. But when God allows a series of tragedies to happen to Job, Job gets mad at God.

Even in his anger with God though (and despite the stupid words of condemnation of Job gets from "friends," who think they're defending God), Job never stops believing in God.

If you believe in God or want to believe in God and you feel anger toward God, it's silly to not express that emotion to God.

That's because God knows what you're feeling and thinking already. Psalm 139:2-4 says: "You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways." God knows about your anger.

But why do we get mad at God?

Recently, my wife and I read How to Get Along with Almost Anyone by counseling therapist and college professor H. Norman Wright. He showed that one of the biggest reasons we human beings get angry at other human beings can be summed up in two words: Disappointed expectations.

It's true.

An employee expects a Christmas bonus never promised and it doesn't materialize.

A wife expects her husband's enthusiasm for her newest promotion at work even though they had never decided together that this would be a great move for their family.

Charlie Brown expects candy when he goes begging on Halloween night...and all he gets is a rock.

Sometimes our anger with others is warranted. But not if the person with whom we're angry doesn't share our expectations. When the other person hasn't promised what we expect of them, we've got no right to be mad at them!

So, what does this have to do with anger with God?

Just this: Sometimes our anger with God is based on the wrong expectations of a relationship with God. We misunderstand what benefits accrue to those who believe in God. That's why Job said accusingly to God, "...you destroy the hope of mortals. You prevail forever against them, and they pass away; you change their countenance, and send them away..." (Job 14:19-20).

Job seems to think that life is a kind meritocracy, that if a person worships and is faithful to God, works hard and plays by the rules, he or she will merit a smooth life.

But God never promises smooth lives to those who trust in Him.

When God came to the earth in the person of Jesus Christ, He said, "[God] makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45).

Faith in God doesn't give the faithful exemptions from the bad things that happen in this imperfect world.

The person who trusts in the God revealed to the whole world in Jesus Christ can expect that God will give them the forgiveness of their sins, the power of the Holy Spirit in making decisions in their lives, the certainty of a life untouched by tragedy after we, like Jesus, experience death and resurrection, and the unshakeable presence of God with us until this world no longer exists.

But faith in God isn't a rabbit's foot that makes the hard and inexplicable stuff of life go away.

Jesus warned His followers that they would even be persecuted for believing in Him. "In the world you will face persecution," He says, "But take courage; I have conquered the world!" (John 16:33).

We can expect an eternity of blessings from God. Those blessings begin in this world.

But sometimes we get angry with God because we have unfair expectations; we expect God to fulfill promises God has never made.

I hope that the reasons I have written this piece are obvious.

But, let's be clear: There are two reasons I have not had in writing this post.

1. I haven't written this post to impose guilt on people who may be feeling angry with God or to tell them to, "Snap out of it!" That's definitely not my goal.

I do ask you to take some time looking at the sources of your anger with God.

Then, spend some time getting to know God better.

The normative word from God and about God is the Bible. That's a great place to go to understand a bit better what the Creator of the universe and you can expect of one another when you follow Him. (For five tips on reading the Bible, go here.)

2. I haven't written this post for readers to send this link to friends whose griefs and anger with God are fresh as if to tell them, "Get over it!"

If you have a friend who's angry with God right now, the best thing for you to do is the opposite of what Job's friends did:

• Listen to them. 
• Let them articulate their feelings. 
• Don't try to explain things you can't explain. 
• Pray for your friend and pray for the moment when the freshness of their anger will have subsided enough that they'll be ready to talk things out with a friend--maybe you.

Remember, no one gets angry with a God in Whom they don't at least want to believe. God isn't afraid of believers' anger toward Him. You shouldn't be either.

Reflections on Job and the Suffering of the Innocent

Along with members of Saint Matthew who are reading the Bible in a year, I'm wrestling with the Old Testament book of Job these days.

Job is no theoretical essay on the question of why faithful or innocent people suffer. (What the theologians call theodicy.) It's the story of the experiences and feelings of one faithful man who undergoes multiple tragedies. It also recounts the ensuing arguments he has with "friends" in trying to explain it all.

Despite their bitter disagreements, through much of the book, Job and his friends all believe in "retributive justice," the idea that when we suffer, it's punishment from God for sin.

It's a tempting argument. So much of life evidences "the law of cause and effect." And the Bible does teach that, in an ultimate sense, suffering is rooted in the human condition of sin, our inborn alienation from God, Who is the source of life. Ultimately too, the Bible teaches that those who refuse to turn from sin and turn to the God revealed in Christ for forgiveness and new life, will suffer eternal alienation from God.

But the Bible--including the book of Job--also affirms two disturbing facts about life in this world:

• The innocent sometimes suffer.
• The unrepentant sometimes thrive.

The book of Job is a warning from God against any simplistic thinking about human suffering. Anyone who, like Job's misguided friends, think they have figured out why people suffer would be well advised to read Job and then, clam up.

Both as a human being and as someone who's counseled people for almost thirty years, I believe (I know) that ultimately, no intellectual explanation of suffering will help people when they suffer or grieve.

That may be why the book of Job ends without an explanation, but a call for continuing reliance on God.

Today, heeding that call may be easier than it would have been for Job. The New Testament records how God came into the world in the person of Jesus and bore both the weight of human suffering and our debt for sin, then rose from the dead. For people who dare to hand over their sins and their lives to Christ, suffering and all its painful questions are not the last word. We have two incredible comforts:

• The presence of Christ with us, "to the close of the age."
• The promise of a new life, free of suffering, with God for eternity.

There are lots of things in the book of Job that disturb me and that I can't explain. And there are many things in this life that disturb me, driving me to fervent prayer. But, I ask God to help me be more like Job, who believed even when he got angry with God. I ask God to help me to keep holding onto Jesus whatever life brings.

If the Devil is After You, You Must Be Doing Something Right

Satan tries to do his worst to you when things are going their best for you.

If you're hit by unexpected adversities or blindsided by others' roadblocks, it may be a good sign that you're on the right path. The closer you are to the God we know in Jesus Christ, the more opposition the devil will throw your way.

Job, whose story is recounted in the Old Testament, learned that the opposition of the devil and the condemnation even of those who he thought were his friends came because he was faithful to God.

If you're a follower of Christ confronting adversities or hatred, as someone I know discussed experiencing with me recently, smile. You're on the right track!

And remember, you're on the winning side of history. "In the world you face persecution," Jesus says to Christians, "But take courage; I have conquered the world!"

The best prescription: Pray for yourself and, if someone is vexing you, pray for them too. Jesus says that believers in Him are to pray for their enemies. (For the Christian, an enemy is not someone we hate, but someone who hates us.) Then, keep following Christ.

[See also Romans 8:31-39.]

40-Days to Servanthood: Day 23

In your commitment to servanthood, be sure to include listening and sharing others’ burdens.

These two forms of service, often separated by others, seem intertwined to me. Each is rooted in an attentiveness to others.

Dale Carnegie, in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, tells the true story of a mother who sat with her small son. “I know you love me very much,” the little guy told her. “Of course I do,” she replied, “but what makes you say that?” “Because,” he said, “you always listen to me.” Attentive listening is a form of love.

One of the most disturbing and inspiring books in the Bible is Job, found in the Old Testament. God allows the devil to attack a faithful man named Job. The result is the deaths of his children, the destruction of his property, the loss of his livestock, and a disease that covers Job with open scabs.

Learning of his affliction, three of Job’s friends show up to be with him. For seven days, they do the right thing: They listen to Job give voice to his agony and his questions about God and God’s goodness.

Then they make a mistake: They open their mouths, trying to explain the unexplainable.

They did more good when they simply listened. That had been a way of bearing Job’s burdens.

Of course, there comes a time when, out of their attentiveness to others, that servants take action. Our burden-sharing needn’t be an action that will get us the Nobel Peace Prize. Simple serving will do. A man in one of my former parishes died. While I visited his widow, several others visited. People from the church and the community were dropping off food to help the family during a period when nobody felt like preparing dinners. Between her tears, the widow dabbed her eyes, smiled at me, and said, “There’s a lot of love in that refrigerator.”

Servants are attentive to others; they listen and they bear others’ burdens.

Bible Passage to Ponder: “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

When Tragedy Hits the Innocent: Part 2 (Rerun)

[Here, I present, with some modification, the second part of a series I first wrote back in November, 2004. I hope that you find it helpful.]

In my first post on this topic, I said that it's natural for us to wonder why we suffer because somewhere in the recesses of our collective DNA, there is this notion that our lives are meant to be good and eternal.

But even if it's natural for us to do so, is it right for us to ask, "Why?"?

Years ago, a friend of mine attended the funeral for a young man who had been killed in an accident. My friend, a committed Christian, was appalled by what he saw among the parents and siblings of the dead young man. They were going around praising God for the death, saying that their loved one was now in heaven, and asking mourners wasn't it all just too wonderful for words? "They were in complete denial, Mark," my friend told me. I think that he was right.

It is true, of course, that followers of Jesus Christ live and die with hope. I love what Paul says in the New Testament book of First Corinthians:

"...Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have died. For since death came through a human being, the resurrection of the dead has also come through a human being; for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive in Christ..." [First Corinthians 15:20-22]

and

"If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." [First Corinthians 15:19]

When I preside over funerals, I often tell the families and friends of the people who have died: "If what we say about Jesus conquering death for all who believe in Him isn't true today, it simply isn't true at all."

Jesus isn't just our Lord when life is going well and we're living large. He's also our Lord when this world hands us its worst. That's because we believe that on an Easter Sunday two-thousand years ago, Jesus rose from the dead, certifying His power to deliver on all His promises, even beyond our deaths and our funerals.

But no matter what our hope and no matter how sure we are that "all who call on the Lord shall be saved" (Acts 2:21; Psalm 55:16; and other places), we still experience loss when loved ones die, or when we lose our health, a job, or a marriage, or when we experience any tragedy. It's normal even for Christians to experience grief.

The New Testament tells us to "give thanks in all circumstances," not for all circumstances. In other words, our circumstances may be lousy or painful, but we can be thankful that even in those times, the God we know through Jesus Christ is with us.

Although my friend attended the funeral I mentioned many years ago, I still wonder why that family reacted as they did to their loss. Maybe they were taught that any other reaction would reflect faithlessness, a lack of trust in God. Maybe they thought that an angry God would punish them in some way.

If they entertained such thoughts, they obviously hadn't spent much time reading the Bible. Back when I was moving from atheism to faith in God, I spent some time exploring the Bible as I never had before. One thing that kept striking me me then was how honest the Bible is. No facts are sugar-coated. Great heroes of faith---from David to Moses and Peter and Paul---are seen warts and all.

And when people of faith mentioned in the Bible encounter mysteries about God and about life with God, they honestly own up to being confounded and confused. In the Old Testament's book of worship songs, the Psalms, for example, there are whole genres of songs called laments: community laments and individual laments. In them, believers in God express sadness and bafflement at their suffering. They complain about the seeming inactivity or insensitivity of God. In Psalm 13, for example, the psalmist talks to God:

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul,
and have sorrow in my heart all day long? [Psalm 13:1-2]

If any believer was worthy of being zapped on the spot, at least according to religious thinking, it was the writer of those words, traditionally held to be David, a person the Bible describes as a "man after God's own heart." But God didn't zap David.

A man named Job didn't get zapped either. His story is told in a lengthy and eloquent book of the Bible's Old Testament. Job was such a good man that God bragged about him. But in rapid order, Job was subjected to a series of personal tragedies. He lost his vast property and land holdings, all his children were killed, and he became afflicted with a disease. At first, Job seemed to handle things well, insisting that he would keep worshiping and serving God. But, understandably, Job broke. He never stopped believing in God. But, despite the saying, "the patience of Job," Job exhibited a lot of impatience...with his circumstances, with other people, even with God. And neither the Bible or God reproach Job for that!

Three friends came to visit him and for a time, simply allowed Job to "vent," sharing his feelings of sadness and grief and mystification that a good God would allow all this to happen to him. It was then that Job's friends made a huge mistake. They tried to explain what had befallen Job. In a nutshell, they were sure that Job was guilty of some secret sin and that God was punishing him. While Job wouldn't have claimed perfection for himself, he was sure that the friends' explanations were off-base. He tells them, "If you would only keep silent, that would be your wisdom!" (Job 13:5) (I laugh every time I read those words, remembering with embarrassment and regret all the stupid explanations I've tried to offer for the bad things that have happened in my own and in others' lives.)

Job then complains bitterly to God and about God. Given their "theology," Job's friends may have felt vindicated in their "explanations" of Job's plight. They may also have considered moving a few feet away from Job just in case a stray lightning bolt from heaven hit them.

In the end of the book of Job though, God responds to all that Job and his friends have said. But God offers no explanations. First, God upbraids the friends for pretending to know what they couldn't possibly know, for judging their friend Job as worthy of all the suffering he was enduring. He even tells them that they were wrong and that Job, who they'd accused of being impious and unbelieving for expressing anger with God, was right!

Then, in a long discouse, God reminds Job of a few simple facts: God is God, Job isn't, and no matter what, God would be with Job.

In a way, that may not seem like an especially satisfying resolution. But, remember Paul's words, "If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." [First Corinthians 15:19] This life, consequential as it may be for eternity is just a blip on our journeys. Paul, a man who certainly had a lot of suffering in his life, said in another place:

For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. [Second Corinthians 4:17-18]

Ultimately, every person I have ever observed to have come to a place of peace in dealing with life's tragedies has done so because they've adopted an eternal perspective. They know that this life isn't all there is to life and choose to trust God in spite of the mysteries and unanswered questions. And in the midst of those mysteries, they discover comfort in knowing that the God of all creation is with them always.

Summing up this post:

1. It's normal for us to grieve.

2. It's normal for us to ask God why we suffer.

3. God won't zap us for wondering why we suffer.

4. Even when we grieve, we have an eternal hope when we trust Jesus Christ as our God and Savior.

5. God is God.

6. We're not God.

7. God is with us.

More on point 7 in my next post. [Use the Comments post below to dialog, give feedback, and tell me if this is helpful at all.]