A Sad Rush to Judgment

[UPDATE, added August 26, 2007: Something I meant to include in this post originally was a mention of my initial reaction to this tragedy, which was a rush to judgment. But as I read and heard more details, I felt very wrong about that. A good lesson for me in this is to always get my facts straight before forming an opinion.]

In conversations I've had by email, telephone, and face-to-face today, people have described Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby as a great person. A competent, caring educator. An accomplished musician who played piano at her church. A loving mother.

While I've never met Nesselroad-Slaby, those who've told me these things about her are all people for whom I have the deepest respect.

Nonetheless, the assistant principal of Glen Este Middle School here in our community, Nesselroad-Slaby has been villified over the past few days on local message boards, radio call-in shows, and at the proverbial workplace water coolers.

On Thursday, Cecilia Slaby, her two year old daughter, died in the Glen Este parking lot. It happened as she sat, strapped into her car seat in her mother's car. Cecilia may have been there for eight hours, as her mother did her job. With temperatures rising to 100-degrees here in the Cincinnati area that day, it's no wonder that Cecilia died. It's a horrible tragedy!

In fact, "accident" is exactly how our Clermont County prosecutor, Don White, a man who is tough on crime, has described the tragedy. He has indicated that while some charge may be filed, he has little thought that either parent intentionally caused the death of their child. Both Nesselroad-Slaby and her husband have been cooperative with authorities and teachers and school administrators on the scene when Cecilia was found describe a mother who was clearly distraught, hysterical with grief.

Over the past few days, local media reports have taught our community that about thirty such deaths occur in the US every year. Often, they happen in the households of busy two-income families where a sleeping child may be in the car seat of a parent who thinks it's not their "day" to take the little one to child care. Prelimimary indications are that that's what happened with Cecilia.

But some in our community are skeptical, others downright hostile, certain that Cecilia was murdered.

I suppose that, to some extent, the suspicions are understandable. Less than a half-mile from the Glen Este parking lot where Cecilia died, foster child Marcus Feisel lost his life.* Marcus, readers of this blog will remember, was wrapped in duct tape and thrown into a closet by his foster parents and their live-in lover. While the three spent several days in Kentucky at a family reunion, Marcus died. Two of the conspirators took his body and incinerated it, while a third told police and the media that the child had gone missing in a local park. Hundreds of community volunteers joined law enforcement officials in searching for Marcus. When the story of what really happened came out, all of us in the community wanted justice to be served. We also developed an acute sensitivity to the vulnerability of children.

With the memory of Marcus so fresh, particularly for those of us who live in the West Clermont Local School District where these events have happened, some skepticism about the circumstances of Cecilia Slaby's death was bound to surface.

But others refuse to even entertain the idea she was the victim of a terrible accident. "I think the parents did it on purpose," one co-worker told a friend of mine on Friday. I'm told that the West Clermont board offices were flooded with telephone calls from people who have already charged, convicted, and hanged Cecilia's parents.

I suspect that some of these reactions stem from something other than a desire to protect children. Among some people, guilty-until-proven-innocent seems to be the prevailing attitude. Their hearts are cold with sin.

I believe that a relationship with Jesus Christ, based on grace and not legalism, changes the way we think about our lives and the world. Our sin inclines us to violate God's command to not bear false witness which, as explained in Martin Luther's Small Catechism calls us also to "put the most charitable construction" on the actions of our neighbors. Jesus Christ, Who died for sinners--that's the whole human race--helps us to be more charitable and less judgmental.

I highly doubt that Cecilia Slaby was the victim of murder. If her parents had wanted to take the little one's life, they could have hatched a more resourceful plot, one that would draw attention away from themselves. Simply leaving Cecilia in her mother's parked car at her place of work is an unlikely way for two intelligent people wanting to get away with murder to go about it.

It looks like an accident to me and that those who are crucifying Cecilia's parents are not just jumping to conclusions, but assassinating their characters. Cecilia's death makes me sad. So does the rush to judgment some are making.

*Marcus Feisel died five-hundred yards from where I live. Our two children attended Glen Este Middle School, but years before Nesselroad-Slaby began working there.

Am I Being Too Sensitive? (Column Version)

[This is the column version of this post. I write a column for a local editions of a suburban Cincinnati newspaper chain.]

I hadn't really listened to ESPN radio personality Colin Cowherd since January, 2006. That was when he cracked that Peace Corps volunteers are losers and declared that life isn't about serving others, but pleasing oneself. It hit me wrong on so many levels.

But I listened to Cowherd one recent Mondy. I was driving from Good Samaritan Hospital, where a friend had just undergone surgery. I flipped on my car radio. Unable to find anything to listen to, I scanned through the stations until I came to the faint signal of the ESPN affiliate in Hamilton. Cowherd was on.

I listened for maybe half a minute. That was all I could take.

This is what got to me. Cowherd talked about his kids. Apparently, he spent more time than usual with them over the preceding weekend and the munchkins exhausted him. A few seconds into a rant about the experience, he said something like, "I love kids and stuff. But sometimes the best thing to do is duct tape them and stick them in a closet."

Maybe at one time I would have laughed at that statement. I mean, nobody really would duct tape a kid and stick him in a closet, right? And, in fairness to Cowherd, his crack isn't much different from one attributed to Mark Twain with regard to teenagers. You know the one: "When a child hits the age of fourteen, he should be put in a barrel with a hole in it. At eighteen, the hole should be closed."

These are the sorts of exagerrated remarks that frustrated--but loving--parents have made for centuries.

But, last year, in a well-kempt middle class home one-quarter of a mile from where I live, David and Lisa Carroll, with the apparent help of Amy Baker, wrapped three year old Marcus Feisel in duct tape, threw him in a closet, and left him there to die while they went to a family reunion in Kentucky.

All of us in the Tri-State have been dealing with the tragedy ever since, of course. The Carrolls are in prison. As I write this, Amy Baker awaits extradition to Kentucky on charges of tampering with evidence related to the case. Also as I write this, the state is attempting to revoke the license of the agency which placed Marcus in the Carrolls’ home.

Some have used the tragedy as incentive for doing something positive. For example, our congregation has gotten involved with CASA for Clermont Kids!, an organization that advocates for and serves foster children. Our youth pack duffel bags with items donated by our church members. The bags are then given to children taken into foster care.

I didn't laugh at Cowherd's comment. Both literally and figuratively, it hit too close to my Clermont County home.

After I turned off the radio, I wondered, "Was I being too sensitive?"

Maybe. But I don't think that the image of duct taping a child and throwing him into a closet will ever be funny to me.

[Mark Daniels is pastor of Friendship Lutheran Church.]

Am I Being Too Sensitive?

I haven't really listened to ESPN radio personality Colin Cowherd since January, 2006. That was when he cracked that Peace Corps volunteers are losers and declared that life isn't about serving others, but pleasing oneself. It hit me wrong because of all the Peace Corps volunteers I've known through the years. They've been competent, caring people. I thought particularly of a late member of Friendship, the congregation I serve as pastor. Karen was bright, funny, tough, successful, and loving. She was no loser.

So, it'd been a year-and-a-half since I listened to Cowherd. But yesterday, I was returning from Good Samaritan Hospital, where a friend had just undergone surgery. Driving home, I flipped on the radio, and couldn't find anything to which I wanted to listen. I scanned through the stations and came to the faint signal of the ESPN affiliate in Hamilton. Cowherd was on.

I listened for maybe half a minute. That was all I could take.

It could just be me. Cowherd's humor may have been harmless and funny. But I couldn't laugh. So I quickly punched the radio off.

This is what got to me. Cowherd was talking about his kids. Apparently, he spent more time than usual with them over the weekend and the munchkins exhausted him. A few seconds into a rant about the experience, he said something like, "I love kids and stuff. But sometimes the best thing to do is duct tape them and stick them in a closet."

Maybe a year or so ago I would have laughed at that statement. I mean, nobody really would duct tape a kid and stick him in a closet, right? And, in fairness to Cowherd, his crack isn't much different from one attributed to Mark Twain with regard to teenagers. You know the one: "When a child hits the age of fourteen, he should be put in a barrel with a hole in it. At eighteen, the hole should be closed."

These are the sorts of exagerrated remarks that frustrated--but loving--parents have made for centuries.

But you see, last year, in a well-kempt middle class home one-quarter of a mile from where I live, two foster parents, with the assistance of their jointly-experienced live-in lover, wrapped a little boy in duct tape, threw him in a closet, and left him there to die while they went to a family reunion in Kentucky.

Here in the Tri-State area of southwestern Ohio, northern Kentucky, and Indiana, and particularly, here in Clermont County, we've been dealing with the aftermath of Marcus Feisel's death ever since.

The two parents, on the strength of testimony provided by their lover, are now in prison.

The lover, herself the mother of three children, is awaiting extradition to Kentucky on charges of tampering with evidence. Hearings are ongoing to decide what will happen to her kids.

Just yesterday, a hearing began on the state's determination to revoke the license of the Butler County agency that negligently placed Marcus in the hands of the Clermont County couple who killed him.

(By the way, after returning from that reunion and finding Marcus dead in the closet where they'd left him, the foster parents and the lover hatched a plan to burn Marcus' body and make it appear that the boy went missing during a visit to the very park where my wife and I walked last night.)

Because of Marcus' death, our congregation has gotten involved with CASA for Clermont Kids!, an organization that advocates for and serves foster children. Our youth have packed duffel bags with items donated by our church members, which are then given to children taken into foster care. It seems like a good and important thing for us to do in light of the tragedy that so recently happened in our midst.

I didn't laugh at Cowherd's comment. I remember the Sunday I fought off tears as I talked about the tragedy during my sermon.

I turned off the radio and wondered, "Was I being too sensitive?"

Maybe. But I don't think that the image of duct taping a child and throwing him into a closet will ever be funny to me.

[THANKS TO: The Big Lead for linking to this post.]

[THANKS TO: One of my favorite bloggers, Matt Brown, of Good Brownie, for linking to this post.]