Steve Goodier Talks About 'The Best Gift Ever'

Author and speaker Steve Goodier has written this piece called The Best Gift Ever. Its topic doesn't represent the best gift ever, as far as I'm concerned, but I love the piece for its good advice and because it includes one of my all-time favorite anecdotes, from former President Jimmy Carter. You can receive regular mailings including Steve's writings by following the directions at: www.LifeSupportSystem.com.

THE BEST GIFT EVER

Merrill Markoe once quipped, "It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!" But the bigger question is: Can you still have annoying habits and be accepted anyway?

Author Francine Klagsbrun asked a select group of successfully married couples the secrets of their happy marriages. Often they replied, "We don't expect perfection." Even though their spouses had qualities they would like to see changed, they had learned to accept
those qualities because, as one woman said, "The payoff is so great in others areas."

Former president Jimmy Carter discovered a surprising benefit when he chose NOT to try to change his spouse. He once told how NOT criticizing Rosalynn actually enhanced his marriage (READER'S DIGEST, July 1989). This is what he said:

"Perhaps because of my Navy training, punctuality has been almost an obsession. Rosalynn has always been adequately punctual, except by my standards. A deviation of five minutes or less in our departure time would cause a bitter exchange.

"One morning I realized it was Rosalynn's birthday and I hadn't brought her a present. What could I do that would be special for her? I hurriedly wrote a note: 'Happy birthday! As proof of my love, I will never make an unpleasant comment about tardiness.' I signed it and delivered it in an envelope, with a kiss.

"More than four years later, I still keep my promise. It has turned out to be one of the nicest birthday presents for Rosalynn -- and for me."

His last sentence is telling. It turned out good for Rosalynn AND for him! The surprising benefit of accepting others without wishing that they were different is that you, too, will be happier.

What a wonderful present to give to somebody -- complete and unconditional acceptance! And its just too good a gift to wait for a birthday.

And what do I think is the best gift ever? Jesus Christ! He forgives us and then makes it possible for us to accept and forgive others...for good.