Now What?: In the Face of a Terrible Tragedy

[Today, a memorial celebration of the life of Eileen Murphy, the principal of Summerside Elementary School in our community was held. More than one-thousand people were in attendance, filling the Performing Arts Center of Glen Este High School. She was a beloved figure and the 600-children and staff of Summerside were just some of the people wrestling with the suicide of a beloved educator. Many more who are part of our West Clermont Local School District have been affected by this loss.

[The memorial was wonderful, including a moving and funny eulogy by our friend, Barb Dardy; a solo presentation of Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus by our district superintendent, Gary Brooks; and a parent eloquently speaking of his appreciation of Miss Murphy, among other things. Below is a message I shared during the memorial.]

There are things that happen in this life that are so big and so sad and so horrible that we can’t explain them. As you think about the tragic death of a beloved family member, principal, and colleague, it’s natural to ask, “Why has this happened?”

I’m not sure there is an answer to that question.

More than that, I’m not sure that having an answer would help us very much.

I think that the far more important question for all who mourn Eileen Murphy to ask is this: “Now what?”

How do you--how do we all--proceed with the living of our lives knowing that there are things that happen in this life that are so big and so sad and so horrible that we can’t explain them? How do we live knowing that life is good, but life isn’t fair and life doesn't always make sense? Just a few thoughts.

First, and this is especially for the boys and girls: Listen to each other. Be kind to each other. Treat each other with respect. When we know that even this beautiful world full of wonders and laughter can be infected by sad things, we should all make it our goal to treat others with the same kindness and love with which we want them to treat us.

Second, boys and girls, when you have feelings of sadness or anger inside of you, tell a trusted grown-up like a parent, a teacher, a counselor, a pastor, or, for some of you, a Boys and Girls Club adult. When I was a little boy and I got frightened or sad, those bad feelings always got worse if I kept them to myself. But when I told my parents, grandparents, or some other grown-up I trusted, those feelings got smaller or went away. A trusted grown-up can help that happen for you too. And grown-ups, we never grow too old for this advice!

Third: The sixty-something year old woman who, when I was in my early twenties, helped me move from being an atheist to a believer in God used to tell me whenever something was bothering me, “You know, Mark, it’s not something you can’t pray about.” You can talk with God about anything! You can even tell Him when you’re angry with Him. The Bible tells us to cast all our cares on God because He cares for us. He cares for you. So, talk to God. Pray.

Fourth: Live in the assurance that your life matters to God. Every single second of it!

In the New Testament portion of the Bible, you can read the letters of a man named Paul. Once a hardboiled enemy of Christian faith, he became a follower of Christ and suffered beatings, imprisonment, shipwrecks, and all sorts of abuse because of his faith. He had every reason to ask, “Why?” But Paul kept following Christ.

He did this because he remembered, as many of us will do in just a few days, that Christ gave up His life on Good Friday and then rose to give new life to all who believe in Him on Easter Sunday.

Paul knew that no matter what happened, he was still loved. You should know that too. Toward the end of his life, Paul wrote some words to the band of Christians living in Rome that comfort me whenever I face the uncertainties and pain of life. I hope they will help you today too:

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As you face a loss so big and so sad and so horrible that you can’t explain it, I hope you’ll remember that God is bigger than all our hurts and that today and every day, His arms are opened wide to you.