Sometimes Tears Come

I admit it. My voice cracked and my eyes misted a few times as I delivered my message at Kathy's and Tom's wedding yesterday. (See here.) But it was such an amazing moment to see these two people I have known so well all these years come together to form, along with their four children, a new family!

This is one of the occupational hazards of being a pastor. If as a pastor, you're blessed with spending some of your life with a group of people, you all become part of one another's lives. When grief comes to one, everyone grieves together. When happiness comes to one, all laugh with each other.

If pastors aren't careful, they can, after a certain amount of time ministering to and with a congregation, become blubbering fools every time they preach or lead worship. It's important that pastors be on their guards against such displays. I feel that people have the right to expect that I won't be self-indulgent, turning worship into something like my own personal therapy session with Dr. Phil.

But pastors shouldn't be "above it all" either, residing in some spiritual netherworld in which they neither experience or acknowledge the pedestrian feelings of parishioners, newcomers, or guests.

My model in this is Jesus. When His friend Lazarus died, Jesus, in spite of knowing that He was going to bring Lazarus back to life, wept. Whatever lay behind His tears--whether they came from the spiritual slowness of Lazarus' mourners, the grief He observed, or the grief that He felt over the phenomenon of death among human beings generally or the death of a specific friend--they bespoke empathy, engagement, connection.

This cuts to the very heart of Who Jesus is and what He was about. The New Testament Gospel of John calls Jesus "the Word," the God Who was around even before the beginning, the energizing Being behind creation. Then, it says, more or less literally, "the Word became flesh and pitched His tent among us."

God has broken into our worlds. Not just our theoretical, cosmic worlds. But into our worlds--the places where diapers get changed, sales are transacted, children plop teeth under pillows for tooth fairies, and old people reminisce in nursing homes. That day in Bethany when Jesus wept says that God gets it. He understands what it's like to be human and that sometimes, tears are a way we respond to the human situation.

So, I don't apologize for the tears that have rarely, but occasionally, made unexpected appearances during my times of public ministry. I struggle and pray mightily to not let that happen, just as I'm sure the president of the seminary I attended, Fred Meuser, did. But I also remember that some of the most affecting (but un-affected) sermons I've ever heard came from Fred as he talked about the depths of God's love for us, given through Christ, or when he spoke of God's call on our lives as Jesus-Followers, and tears showed up on his face.

Self-indulgence in a preacher is evil. But may I never be so "professional" that I fail to experience the beauty and the power of God reaching down to His children in times of joy as well as sadness, and find my heart touched. When that happens, I stop, regain my composure, and refuse to conceal the simple fact that our God truly is an awesome God, awesome because of His very presence in the "here and now" moments of life!