The Golden Rule of the Internet?

Look, you don't have to be credulous or naive...in fact, you don't have to believe pro football player Golden Tate's denials of some of the sordid reports about him that have appeared on the Internet.

But his words in this article are right on in an era when gossip has gone viral and when a favorite hobby of many is to drag others down on the Internet, celebrities and even ordinary people whose only "crime" is that someone, for some reason, finds them mockable. (Think of the young woman that dozens of web wags thought had been caught on national TV stepping out during Ohio State's recent Sugar Bowl victory over Alabama. The video with scandalous inferences burned up the Internet. But very few people with whom I've spoken know that the inferences were wrong and the man whose head she had touched was not a side interest, but her boyfriend.)

Tate begins by writing of himself as pro player in the public eye:

You don’t know me.

Sure, by watching the NFL and playing fantasy football, you are aware of me as No. 15 on the Detroit Lions. You saw me win a Super Bowl last season with the Seattle Seahawks. You comment on my on-field celebrations and my perceived brashness. You frame what you think of me based on that, and how I perform, and what’s said and written about me by newspapers and magazines and blogs and talking heads. 

But you don’t know me, Golden Tate, the person. What I’m all about. You don’t know how much I care about my relationships with the fans and city in which I play.

Later, Tate suggests that people try to abide by the Golden Rule:

The false rumors about me served to open my eyes and sensitize me to what I read or hear in the media. Imagine, for a moment, walking in my shoes — having malicious and damaging accusations flying fast and furious, only you had no way of stemming the tide; no one person to call out and demand a retraction and an apology from. Now, imagine yourself squarely in the public eye, facing thousands of people lambasting you for something you didn’t say or do.

DeAngelo Williams was right. In the Internet era, stories like these live on — in search engines, in archives, and in the minds of fans watching the game. They will never fully go away, regardless of how I address them and how others debunk them. I actually learned something through all of this, it’s my Golden Rule, so to speak: “Treat others as you would like to be treated — especially on social media.”

Good idea! Read the whole thing.

In Martin Luther's Small Catechism, the Reformer explains the meaning of the Eighth Commandment, first given by God to the human race through Moses at Mount Sinai:

We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, [think and] speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.

In other words, we human beings are called to strive to find to think and say the best about others whenever possible. 

Knowing that this is God's will for us should stop everyone in our tracks to confess our sins to God and turn to Him for the forgiveness and renewal He offers to us through Jesus Christ.

For Christians to know that this is God's will for us should motivate us, out of simple gratitude for Christ's cross and empty tomb and the grace that saves from sin and death all who believe in Christ, to ask God to help us always strive to "put the best construction on everything" done by our neighbors, whether they live next door, serve in the White House or Congress, or play in the NFL.

Of Pens, Swords, Keyboards, & Throwing Businesses Under the Cyberbus

I don't know that I've ever written a review of a restaurant or retail establishment on my blog or on any of the social media outlets, other than to say we particularly enjoyed or appreciated a place. (The Olive Tree in Hilliard and the Giant Eagle Market District in Upper Arlington, both of which we love a lot, come to mind.)

But Beth McShane makes an important point in a post she titles, The Pen is even mightier than the sword: Our pens (or furious keyboard-tapping fingers) can cause a lot of damage to some establishments, especially to those mom and pop businesses whose owners have a genuine commitment to customer satisfaction and product improvement.

McShane writes:

There is an unfortunate trend among some social media dabblers to tweet first and ask questions later. The days of asking to see the manager when you have a complaint has been replaced with reaching for the iPhone and tweeting directly from the dinner table. Don’t like your haircut? Try talking to the salon before giving that one star review on Twitter. You owe it to them to give them a chance to make things right before you go public with scrutiny.

I like Beth's alternative strategy.

By laying aside our pens, swords, and keyboards long enough to get explanations or better performances in response to the second chances we provide, we might save the reputations of earnest merchants who really do want to the right thing and, unless the fly actually belongs there in your soup, generally have a great product. (You'll have to watch the great Grover clip from Sesame Street that Beth provides at her post to get that.)

So, please check out Beth McShane's post.

By the way, in mentioning McShane's post calling for giving merchants and retailers with whom you're disappointed the chance to make things right, I haven't really wandered from my usual bailiwick of Biblical Christianity.

For example, the eighth of the Ten Commandments, the list of basic moral laws God gives to the human race for us as long as Planet Earth is still spinning on its axis, God says, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

In that edict, it's clear enough that God doesn't want us to spread untruths about others. But back in the 1520s, in a book called The Small Catechism, Martin Luther penetrated to the deeper levels of God's intent for this commandment, when he explained that:

We should fear and love God so that we do not betray, slander, lie, or gossip about our neighbors, but defend them, speak well of them, and put the most charitable construction on all that they do.

By Luther's perceptive summation, we see that God wants to be sure that, even when a neighbor doesn't meet our expectations, we restrain ourselves from "throwing under them bus." That would include cyber-buses like Twitter, Facebook, or your own blog where you fume about the deficiencies of products or services.

Maybe the businessperson who disappointed you was having a bad day (like Mr. Gower in It's a Wonderful Life) or you didn't understand that the menu really did promote Cream of Mosquito soup (see the Grover video).  (Matthew 7:12)

When we obey the eighth commandment--a tough proposition, I might add--we're really fulfilling what has been called Jesus' golden rule: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you" (Matthew 7:12).

If we do have complaints or questions though, the Bible suggests that we investigate things before complaining to the world. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus lays down a process for Christians to resolve conflicts with fellow Christians. But its principles clearly have broader application.

The bottom line is that if you have a beef with someone, you go to them first...not the entire Internet. You may be able to get things resolved without resorting to wielding the sword of a blog post or Facebook or Twitter update.

After all, wouldn't you rather help solve a problem than have the privilege of bellyaching in cyberspace? Yeah, me too.

Turns out Beth McShane's advice is good in a lot of ways! You can also follower her on Twitter: @BethMcShane